It’s generally agreed that parents who decide to reproduce in March are a bit thoughtless or shortsighted.
The reason being, their offspring is then most likely to come along in December and live a lifetime of sideshow birthdays.
Christmas conquers the month – and surrounding months these days – and as such people have little time or money for the kids conceived in March.
But fear not if you have a little sprogling on the way, or if you were born in December and feel you’ve been short-changed; there’s loads of benefits to being born in Christ’s month, apparently.
The credibility of these studies and their findings do vary quite a bit, but let’s roll with it.
Firstly, while a December birthday in itself might be shit, there’s more likely to be a lot of them. A study published in the Journal of Ageing Research indicated that babies born in December were more likely to live exceptionally long lives. Then again, having more than 100 birthdays in December could be interpreted as salt in the wounds.
Another study that supports the idea of December babies living longer found that they are less likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease. The study of 1,749,400 people from the United States suggests this may be due to ‘seasonal variations’, according to the Washington Post.
Despite the fact they’re doomed to live a long and healthy life, December babies still manage to be better people to hang around with too. A US college student survey indicated that those born in December were less likely to moan or get all riled up. Perhaps 20 years of joint birthday-cum-Christmas presents teaches them to be happy with whatever they’re given in life?
Throwing further weight behind the long healthy life thesis, a study in the International Journal of Sports Science found that December babies are more likely to be athletic. Researchers hypothesised that the reason these babies might have extra power and poise is because their mommas may be enjoying more vitamin D during pregnancy.
Another study – seriously, who is studying this shit? – found December babas are also more likely to be morning people. However, it’s debatable whether that’s a good thing. Sure, they will be sensible, get all their jobs done and have a tidy house, blah blah blah, but who wants really wants a square baby?
Lastly, just in case you didn’t think all of the above was dubious enough, apparently December babies are more likely to be dentists… Don’t ask me, ask the Office for National Statistics.